I was raised Catholic. I love the churches, especially the older gothic ones. I love the statues, the smells, the quietness and mostly, I loved the practice. It was a ritual that felt soothing to me. I knew what to say and looked forward to when the priest spoke to us. That was my favorite part. But, when I was in high school, I became upset over the fact that as a woman, I could not become a priest. That bothered me to the point where I stopped attending church. I have gone back to mass once since that time.
I attended and joined a Christian church. It’s a non-denominational church which is very similar to the teaching style of Joel Osteen. The band is more like a mini-rock concert and then our pastor is very funny and brings very down to earth and relatable messages. I always felt a sense of calm when leaving and enjoyed when I did attend. My husband also enjoyed attending the services. I quit because I started to question some of the conservative viewpoints. For the most part, it’s a very open minded church. The pastor is often wearing jeans and you can find everyone in the audience from preps to bikers.
I also loved that both the Catholic and the Christian church I attended had a Saturday mass which works very well for me; due to health issues. I realize that there will likely be no church that will embody all of my beliefs. I think it’s important to find one, if you choose to attend, that uplifts you and makes you feel like you’re relationship with God is stronger. Recently I’ve been desiring a return to church. I often feel this way right before Saturday, but then on Saturday I decide I don’t want to attend. The Christian church I attended does have an online campus where I can watch from home. I know that’s not exactly the same thing, but it’s a nice thing to have.
I’m still undecided on whether I will return to church. But I know that it’s something that I will wrestle with for the time being.